Love On The Spectrum

Your first step in dating is deciding on the type of relationship you’re looking for. Casual dating is basically no commitment dating. The other types are more serious, varying in intensity from tenuous and tentative to romantic and longing. (There are even board game versions of dating, from Where’s Waldo to Scrabble. They’re not for the indecisive.) Choosing the right type of relationship is important; the wrong type of relationship can be a lot of heartache and time. Plan your time carefully. Spend some time getting to know the people you meet in a safe way so you can tell when things are moving too fast. If you don’t really know the person (or people), skip the time-consuming courtship stage. The best way to avoid being used or taken advantage of is to be in the know about your date. You can learn a lot about a person in a short time, but the best way to know if you should go out with a given individual is to keep an open mind and a critical eye. If you’re looking for a person to settle down with and have kids with, go for the long term relationship; if you’re looking to spend a few nights with a fun person, go casual. Start off meeting people for coffee. Sure, it’s cheesy, but nothing beats the camaraderie of gathering with others for a little socializing. It doesn’t have to be coffee. Think dinner parties, karaoke nights, or simply your friend’s place for a fun night out. Just keep in mind that it’s a learning experience. You don’t want to be too forward, nor do you want to come on too strong. Think about things like whether you would enjoy dancing or going to a concert or playing a musical instrument. Are there any particular hobbies you would like to pursue together? Sure, just make sure it’s safe—categorizing things to make sure you’re not too forward isn’t as scary as it sounds. If you’re too forward, people can feel pressured and may end up feeling uncomfortable. Don’t say anything mean. It’s only natural to need to say certain things, like “You’re cute, you’re doing your makeup badly” or “You need to shave.” However, and this may sound weird, don’t say anything at all. If you don’t get a chance to respond, it’s best to keep it to yourself. Say nice things, of course, but try not to. Listen, laugh
No matter how you go about it, the best approach to dating when you’re old goes something like this: (1) figure out what you want, (2) find people like you, and (3) be brave enough to say hello. If that sounds simple, it’s because it’s simple. It’s hard, but it’s not rocket science. It just takes time and some trial and error. Good luck. Determine what you want Let’s cut to the chase: You’re old. You’re getting older, and you’re getting tired. You’re hearing from your friends, your family, and your doctor about how much better you could be for your health, your self-esteem, and, more importantly, for your future. So, what do you want? And how do you figure out what that is? Well, knowing yourself is the best place to start. Are you someone who likes to take care of yourself? Or do you prefer to take things easy? Do you like to have a good time, or do you prefer to stay in for work and eat take-out? Are you more interested in a serious relationship or do you like to have some fun and explore? You get the picture. This is the first step to figuring out what you want. And how do you figure this out? Well, the first and easiest place to look is yourself. If you don’t know yet, take a look at the personality traits you have listed above. Write down the words that describe you. Next, think about the people you like. Who are your friends? Your family? Are there people you admire? People who have made an impact on you in some way? Sit with these people and ask yourself, if I were to meet them, would I like to be friends with them? Do you work hard or do you have fun? Do you like to have fun or are you someone who likes to be serious? Lastly, think about the things you’d like in a romantic partner. Do you like to spend time with your friends? Do you like to get together with them to have fun? Or would you rather sit around and have a nice dinner with your guy? What kind of music do you like? Are you a nature person or a music person? Do you like to travel, or do you like to stay at home and have fun with your friends? Do you want to have kids one day? Would your friend have


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