Dating Someone With Depression: Be Careful

Don’t use too many “zingers” There’s nothing wrong with a bit of humor, but a lot of “zingers” are over the top. It turns your date off, and there’s nothing worse than getting hit with a not-so-clever quip. Be yourself—let your humor be your humor. And if you’re OK with puking in your date’s mouth, you may want to avoid making a remark that starts with “I’m gonna puke on you.” Keep in mind that you are meeting someone new who may or may not be just a little off-putting. You don’t want them to think you’re just mean or a jerk, so it’s probably better if your first impression is a good one. If you fall into “zinging” and just strike out on the first date—I mean, if you start dating as a joke, that’s just nasty. All jokes aside, be nice and courteous. Don’t be creepy, and don’t use a one-liner that makes you sound like a serial killer. Keep your personal information to yourself Sharing your personal information—your height, your weight, your birth date, your favorite movie—isn’t necessary unless you’re asking someone for their real information. Don’t make assumptions about a person until you know their name, where they’re from, what they do for a living, and what they’re looking for. Use a different email address If you’re friends with your date on Facebook or have an online dating account, you should have your own email address. If you’re meeting someone through mutual friends, your email addresses should be handled by them. It’s better to have your own unique email address instead of using the email address of your friend or a dating site. Don’t play Cupid Making others’ lives miserable is pretty cheesy, and having a friend or a friend of a friend pretend to set you up just for one thing is tacky. Not to mention that if they do end up hooking you up, you’ll know it and you can cut them off. It’s best to just keep your friends to yourself, unless you can have a good laugh about it after the fact. Use apps and instant messaging This may come as a surprise, but be careful of using dating apps or instant messaging websites to “date” someone. This is not only a bad idea, but it’s also an
Dating is a lot easier than it used to be, and here are some great reasons why: 1. It’s a lot less stressful than it used to be. For one thing, we are no longer forced to find the perfect mate in high school, and we don’t have to lock ourselves into a marriage contract with a stranger after graduation. Instead, we are given ample opportunities to sample the fine wine of singles bars and the fruity liquors of singles parties before taking our chances with that special someone. Our parents can rest easy knowing that our doors are not barred to our prospective partners before they can commit to us. We don’t have to be ashamed of our university pictures, unkind words written on our dorm room doors, or probably even our teeth. Many of us even have a choice in the gender of our partners. When I was younger and single, I often felt like I had to make decisions based on sex: Should I go on a date with a man? A woman? An Asian man? A woman who is Asian? A white man? A white woman? Or maybe a Black man? A White woman? An Asian woman? An Asian man? Don’t feel too bad if the answers to these questions scare you a little. Many of my friends that are currently married tell me they wished they would have made different choices when they were on the dating market. They wished they had taken the time to date a few more people to broaden their dating pool before they chose their mate for life. 2. It’s kind of like a game show these days. If you never watched the game show The Dating Game, you probably won’t get it, but I promise you it’s not like those horrible shows where complete strangers get face-to-face with strangers all day. For each round, two people are put in a completely public place. They have a brief meeting with a “gauge”—an unlikely date (your boss, someone you see every day in line at the grocery store) where they can see if they like each other’s personality and get to know each other outside their age, background, and the random questions flung at them. After this, they would usually have a brief chat with the person, talk a little more, and decide whether they wanted to go on a second date or decide they were just not on the same page and go their separate ways. D


Have an account?