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Photo by Damien Gude. 1. Know your shit Who you are and what you’re looking for are the only things you can control in this whole dating thing. It’s nice to think you can lie your way into a relationship and play on a person’s sympathies—but that’s only part of the equation. You can do what you want—but if you don’t understand yourself and what’s important to you, you’ll only find yourself unhappy. This article doesn’t pretend to tell you how to be happy, but it can tell you what to expect in relationships, what you should be looking for in a person, and how to know when something is just not going to work. 2. Have confidence in who you are Stop trying to be something you’re not, and let who you are show through. Life is too short to be someone you’re not, and you’ll regret it. People love confidence. It’s sexy, and it’s infectious. If you can let yourself be who you are and not worry about what others think, you’ll radiate it, and so will the person you’re attracting to yourself. We already know sexiness comes in all shapes and sizes, and confidence doesn’t come in one size either. Having a positive self-image is also very attractive to men—even if you think you’re ugly. Confidence will show in what you’re doing and how you interact with the world. It’s a confidence that isn’t forced, nor is it some type of artifice. It’s just real. G/O Media may get a commission Subscribe and Get Your First Bag Free Promo Code AtlasCoffeeDay20 3. How to grow There are so many things you can learn from working on yourself—both in your physical and mental aspects—and this will only serve to make you a better, more attractive person. Once you’ve figured out what you need to do to make yourself happy—and if you haven’t yet, then this is the perfect opportunity to start—you’ll be able to incorporate those changes. 4. Question the concept of love Every time you question what love is and isn’t, and why you think you deserve something, then you’re dating a person who doesn’t want to get to know you. And that’s a person who isn’t going to be interested in you at all. Love isn’t magic; it’s something that you deserve when someone is willing to invest in
Image by Dmitriy Leve/Shutterstock There are three things that I can guarantee will hurt you in modern dating. 1. You’ve used Tinder before. I’ve talked to a lot of women who have had horrific experiences in their early years of online dating. Some had horrible dates in which they had to go through a time-consuming screening process just to get it started, and all they wanted was for a guy to send a picture of himself or take theirs, but no one did. It could be that the guy had something funny happen to him, or that something was wrong with the photo he sent. He just didn’t want to go through the process. Here’s the thing: A lot of people don’t even like putting themselves out there. They’re just too afraid. Here’s a little secret I’d like to impart to you: Everything I know about dating I learned from Tinder. I started out on Tinder, I experimented with OkCupid, and I joined Plenty Of Fish, a site geared towards people who were looking for more serious relationships. I was thoroughly schooled by these apps, and I have been sharing that knowledge since. The next time you’re on Tinder, don’t be afraid to answer the questions. If you’re a skilled conversationalist, it’ll probably impress the app. Image by Macie C.C/Shutterstock Take a good look around on any online dating app, or dating site, and you’ll see this very common reaction that people have: This is a one-night-stand and this is about sex. Here’s the thing: It’s about sex! Before Tinder, I was still spending my spare time on dating sites. For example, I once met a guy in a singles forum where I posted something, and then he saw a picture of me. He added me as a “follower,” and then I would see his profile. I would send him a message and then we would talk for a little bit. It went great until he began to spam me with endless messages that just said, “I’m feeling so horny.” It was annoying, so I deleted him. I’d explain this to you, but you’d probably assume it was because I’m a sex fiend and want to have sex with every person I meet. That’s not the case. It’s because online dating has its advantages, but it also has its drawbacks, and we need to be aware of


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